Greatness within my soul

     Did you ever feel that you have something great within your soul before? Have you ever wondered whether you got it or not? And one day will come to you and wake you up from your dreams to chase?

     I believe that everyone has greatness within his/her soul.. I believe that there is something great lying within the layers of my soul..waiting to come out to the world..but unfortunately i don't know it yet...but i feel with all my heart that one day i will find it..i also know that i don't have it right now..not in my education .. neither in all the things i can do...cause i believe that GREATNESS CAN'T BE DONE, THOUGH IT'S FELT DEEP DOWN WITHIN YOUR SOUL, HEART, BODY AND MIND..and i will always keep searching for it in my soul until one day i feel it...feel greatness in something..feel gifted..a gift that i will dedicate my life to..that i will love more than my self, more than my life, more than my breath...even more than my soul..

To greatness..i am waiting for you ♥

                                                                              Tuesday, September 4, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Being a writer

     Being a writer is one of the strangest things ever in the world.. i even my self wondered how would a person write something that is so beautiful and well-written like all writers from all-over the world do..until it came to me and i suddenly found out that i can write in both English and Arabic and at first i felt what a weird thing that i out of nowhere have a gift like writing...but here is a glimpse of what it's like to be a very small, amateur writer..

     First i feel my heart is beating so god-damn hard like i finally found the one love i have looked for my entire life and it is really like a lamp just lighten up in my head and i find my self capable of writing anything i would like to and can't stop my hands from writing it..and to be true mostly this happens when i write my feelings about something or someone or even an event in my life.. then i write and i write till i stop and read what i actually wrote.. and this is the moment when i know deep down in my heart and my mind also that there is nothing more to write and i have to find a great ending for what i just laid down to the paper or my keyboard..then it stops all of the rush ends with a silent voice in mind knowing that i can't write anything any more...

                                                                                         Monday, August 27, 2012 at 5:28 am  

The most beautiful thing ♥

The day is Saturday, 25th of august 2012

Around 6:00 in the morning

     I just watched two white birds out of my window, flying in circles with each other, like there is no one else in their world with them. Suddenly i felt tears up in my eyes .. don't know the reason for them .. and the same old feeling .. weigh too down in the bottom of the world and i feel like my heart is ripped out of my chest and i can't breathe ..

      Romance is still there in the world and there is still that thing that you feel in the heart and called Love .. even if it's only among birds ...♥

Fact Real syndrome

In life facts don't always mean that they are real to every one

And what proves that:

"Beauty in the eyes of the beholder" ♥

Empty !!

Sometimes i get that feeling .. that feeling of emptiness .. as if my soul is empty..and i can't even fill my lungs with air !!

The blind side: white walls ♥

     I look everywhere and i see white, white walls, white people, the teacher don't know that i have no idea what they are talking about, they give me problems and um supposed to solve them on my own, i go to the bathroom and i look into the mirror and i say "this is not me, this is not Michael Oher!!" 

My trust issue!!

Sometimes, I trust people because I want to trust them, I want to get that feeling of security and safety when you know that there is somebody you trust is around, like there is a guardian who is watching over.. Not because they are really trust-worthy!!

Um on the verge of hating people, the people i know and the people i will ever know!!  and this feeling sucks :( now i don't know who to trust.. full of doubts all the time, i can't even sleep safely with all of those betrayals um seeing in my mind all night, or to be true that i have seen!! and in that moment, i feel my tears running on my pillow!! why do people do those things, why do they betray your trust.. why they aren't much of trust-worthy god damn ones ?????!! that's how people have turned me into lately...unfortunately...!!

Are you for real? that's the first thing that comes to my mind when i meet someone for the first time ... is it me? and that's the last question that runs to my mind when someone turns out to be what's not how i saw him/her for a god damn long time...!!!!

God, how much do i really wish that i was created with like a monitor inside me to scan every person's inside, to see how much of a liar, a thief, a rat he is....oh, i wish, and i will always wish for that ... but i guess wishes don't come true, do they?

The bottom line is that um deeply hurt, especially by the close ones to my heart, or at least how i think of them..

So don't hang too much to people, cause sooner or later they will leave, either with their bodies, or with their souls, and may be you leave them when they show their ugly faces.

And here i am declaring that i will no longer love somebody too much, or trust anyone so much, or hang on to people too much, and i will tell this expression “will always will” so long, cause it's just not real, not in our reality, not in our lives, or at least not in my life!! Except for my family, cause they are the only ones who love me unconditionally and will always will..

                                                                                   23-12-2012, 12:33 am