Sometimes, I trust people because I want to trust them, I
want to get that feeling of security and safety when you know that there is
somebody you trust is around, like there is a guardian who is watching over..
Not because they are really trust-worthy!!
Um on the verge of
hating people, the people i know and the people i will ever know!! and this feeling sucks :( now i don't know
who to trust.. full of doubts all the time, i can't even sleep safely with all
of those betrayals um seeing in my mind all night, or to be true that i have
seen!! and in that moment, i feel my tears running on my pillow!! why do people
do those things, why do they betray your trust.. why they aren't much of
trust-worthy god damn ones ?????!! that's how people have turned me into
lately...unfortunately...!!
Are you for real?
that's the first thing that comes to my mind when i meet someone for the first
time ... is it me? and that's the last question that runs to my mind when
someone turns out to be what's not how i saw him/her for a god damn long
time...!!!!
God, how much do i
really wish that i was created with like a monitor inside me to scan every
person's inside, to see how much of a liar, a thief, a rat he is....oh, i wish,
and i will always wish for that ... but i guess wishes don't come true, do
they?
The bottom line is
that um deeply hurt, especially by the close ones to my heart, or at least how
i think of them..
So don't hang too
much to people, cause sooner or later they will leave, either with their
bodies, or with their souls, and may be you leave them when they show their
ugly faces.
And here i am
declaring that i will no longer love somebody too much, or trust anyone so
much, or hang on to people too much, and i will tell this expression “will
always will” so long, cause it's just not real, not in our reality, not in our
lives, or at least not in my life!! Except for my family, cause they are the
only ones who love me unconditionally and will always will..
23-12-2012, 12:33 am
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