Monday, December 24, 2012

My trust issue!!




Sometimes, I trust people because I want to trust them, I want to get that feeling of security and safety when you know that there is somebody you trust is around, like there is a guardian who is watching over.. Not because they are really trust-worthy!!

Um on the verge of hating people, the people i know and the people i will ever know!!  and this feeling sucks :( now i don't know who to trust.. full of doubts all the time, i can't even sleep safely with all of those betrayals um seeing in my mind all night, or to be true that i have seen!! and in that moment, i feel my tears running on my pillow!! why do people do those things, why do they betray your trust.. why they aren't much of trust-worthy god damn ones ?????!! that's how people have turned me into lately...unfortunately...!!

Are you for real? that's the first thing that comes to my mind when i meet someone for the first time ... is it me? and that's the last question that runs to my mind when someone turns out to be what's not how i saw him/her for a god damn long time...!!!!

God, how much do i really wish that i was created with like a monitor inside me to scan every person's inside, to see how much of a liar, a thief, a rat he is....oh, i wish, and i will always wish for that ... but i guess wishes don't come true, do they?

The bottom line is that um deeply hurt, especially by the close ones to my heart, or at least how i think of them..

So don't hang too much to people, cause sooner or later they will leave, either with their bodies, or with their souls, and may be you leave them when they show their ugly faces.

And here i am declaring that i will no longer love somebody too much, or trust anyone so much, or hang on to people too much, and i will tell this expression “will always will” so long, cause it's just not real, not in our reality, not in our lives, or at least not in my life!! Except for my family, cause they are the only ones who love me unconditionally and will always will..
                                                                                   23-12-2012, 12:33 am 

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